Meriam Boldewijn is a devoted wife, inspiring author, caregiver advocate, motivational speaker, and business entrepreneur. She has been a caregiver for more than 20 years to both her husband and brother. Today she is a happy, healthy, and confident woman who offers support, coaching, and life skills to caregivers all over the world. But it wasn’t always like this.

There was a time when her husband was a diabetic and on dialysis. He finally had a kidney-pancreas transplant surgery. He had many other surgeries (groin rupture, eye surgeries, ankle surgery) that she lost count of. Not only that, but one day in November 2012, her brother had a severe stroke while she was talking to him on the phone. Meriam burnt out while taking care of her husband. By investing in herself, she was able to get out of that dark place. Because of her experience and lessons she now has the privilege and pleasure to help fellow caregivers owning their well-being even as they take care of their loved ones.

1) First, I want to thank you for taking the time to do this interview with me!  When did you know that writing is what you were called to do? What is it about being a writer that you love the most? What about being a writer frustrates you the most?

I love this question! I remember August 5th, 2020, when I had a meet and greet Zoom call with a fellow course member. She told me a bit about herself and when it was my turn to tell something about myself I started talking about what I had experienced as a caregiver of my husband and brother. I was so busy talking and I didn’t look at my screen. When I finally looked, I saw that she had tears in her eyes and I said: 

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention to make you cry. Maybe I should write a book!” 

“Meriam, this is exactly what I wanted to suggest. You can help so many people by sharing your story and I would be honored to help you. I am a writing coach and editor.” 

“Nah, I’m just kidding. Who would want to read my book?” 

“Please think about it. I’m serious. You can help others and doesn’t that idea make you feel good?”

I thought about her words and on August 22, 2020, I started writing my book: “Caregiver 2.0: From Burnout to Powerhouse”.

What I love the most about writing is that it clears my mind. I started journaling years ago when there was too much going on in my head and I was overwhelmed. The best time for me to journal is in the morning and I write whatever comes to my mind. The result of my journaling is my book. Isn’t this wonderful?

During my writing process, I had moments when I felt stuck; I couldn’t write anything. And that frustrated me. But thanks to my writing coach who gave me writing prompts, I could proceed.

2) Can you tell us a little about your book(s) and where our readers can find out more about them and you? 

Sure! Today I enjoy living a balanced life as a wife, caregiver, author, business owner, motivational speaker and caregiver advocate. I live in peace and harmony while taking care of my loved ones.

But I must tell you that it wasn’t always like this!

Eighteen years ago, I burned out while taking care of my husband. Besides care giving, I was also the cook, cleaner, driver, and worked full-time. My husband was a diabetic, on dialysis, and had kidney-pancreas transplant surgery. When I finally came out of that roller coaster, my brother had a stroke and was partially paralyzed. But because I pulled myself out of a dark place when I burned out when taking care of my husband, I could prevent another burnout while taking care of my brother.

Care giving is challenging, both mentally and physically. Most of the time, our mind and body are not in balance. Struggling with prioritizing ourselves, guilt, fear, exhaustion are just a few examples of the issues caregivers have to deal with.

Being a caregiver requires a lot of strength, courage, and patience, mainly because we are not obligated to do it. However, we are doing it every day, because of the love towards our loved ones.

Still, love isn’t enough to “recharge our battery” overnight – we need to take proper care of ourselves before we can take the best care of someone else.

With Caregiver 2.0; From Burnout to Powerhouse, I share my transformational journey, extensive knowledge, and invaluable advice when it comes to possibilities, opportunities, asking for help, time-management, self-care, and much more! I ask questions in my book; some of them might make the reader feel uncomfortable. Please know that there was a time in my life when I needed to answer those questions and it led to my healing.

Caregiver burnout is rarely discussed and it’s time the world knows what caregivers go through.

Making ourselves a top priority by listening to the whispers from within is not a sign of egoism. Revitalizing your energy can extend your own quality of life, so you can breathe better, and finally help others from a place of personal emotional prosperity.

This book is a must-read for both caregivers and non-caregivers and is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, on other (online) bookstores, or on my website www.meriamboldewijn.com

3) What projects are you currently working on?

I’m working on a 21-day pre-recorded online program for caregivers now. In this program, I share value, inspire and motivate fellow caregivers. For 21 days they will receive a video (max of 5 minutes) with my knowledge and step-by-step guidance on how to own their well-being.

I’m also creating FREE downloadable documents for caregivers or anyone who want to learn how to own their well-being. One of the documents is The Best Kept Secrets of a Healthy Caregiver in which I share many nuggets about changing your mindset and the importance of self-care. Another document I’m working on is one with self-care tips you can implement in your daily life.

As a caregiver advocate, I try to be a speaker (virtual or in-person) as often as I can, and I also do workshops.

Between the above activities, I’m the co-author of the book My Africa, My Identity, which will hopefully be published in December 2021. It’s a book with stories of hope, courage, and passion from people whose ancestors came from Africa. So, follow me on social media to be the first to know when it is available. I’ll be sending out signed copies.

4) What has been your most significant achievement as a writer thus far? Where do you see yourself within your career in the next five years?

I never thought that I would write a book! So, that’s a significant achievement for me. I discovered that sharing your story via a book can change people’s lives and I do think that I will write more books in the next five years. I enjoy sharing my knowledge, experience and I definitely want to keep working with people who are ready to grow personally.

5) How have you dealt with rejection within your writing career?

Lucky me! I didn’t have to deal with any rejection. I chose to self-publish my book and I was empowered by my family and friends from the moment they heard that I started writing my book.

6) Do you have a schedule for when you write?  Do you outline your novels?  How long does it generally take you to finish a novel?

Yes, I do! When I was writing Caregiver 2.0: From Burnout to Powerhouse, I blocked every Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday morning from 8:00 AM – 12.00 PM. It was my self-care moment as well. I was not available for anyone, even my loved ones. Because I scheduled my writing moments, I was able to publish my book within a year. I started writing on August 22, 2020, and I self-published my book on June 10, 2021.

7) Do you believe that there is ever a point in life where it’s too late for an aspiring writer to become successful in this industry?  Do you feel a late start would hinder their chances?

I don’t believe that. I’m 51 years old and I published my first book. This book was Amazon’s #1 Hot New Release for 3 times in a month! It’s never too late to start writing.

8) Are you an avid reader and have you always been? What’s the first book you ever read that really touched you emotionally and moved you?  Who is your favorite author? What book are you currently reading?

Before I met my husband, I was an avid reader. As a caregiver, I started reading more medical documents because I wanted to know more about my husband’s and brother’s illnesses. Now I try to read more and that’s a challenge because I have so many wonderful projects I’m working on at the moment.

While I was writing my book I was reading “The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity” by Julia Cameron. This book helped me so much because I felt as if she was talking to me. I have to be honest that during my writing process the question: “who would want to read my book?” was still in my mind. And this book gave me the power to keep going. There are many quotes in this book that made me have ‘Aha’ moments and she is one of my favorite authors.

Right now I am reading Lost Travel Found: Turning Pain Into Purpose by Ashley Jackson for the second time. Ashley and I have never met but she is my sister from another mister. She’s a fellow caregiver and together we are on a mission to reach caregivers from all over the world to let them know that they are not alone and that we appreciate them for what they are doing.

I used the pandemic to write my book. I meditated and asked the universe for guidance and writing my book during a lockdown was the best thing I could do. I became more aware of my writing skills. Not only that, but I used those lessons I learned earlier in my life about seeing possibilities and grabbing opportunities to write and publish my book. So yes, I saw the lockdown as a possibility, and I grabbed the opportunity of spending many hours at home to write my book.

9) The Pandemic was a challenging time for some writers and creative individuals but also for others it was time that they needed to focus on their creative passions. Which side of that spectrum do you fall on? Are there any lessons or nuggets of wisdom that you gained during the Pandemic that help you within your writing career? Did the quarantine stifle your creativity or did it make you even more driven to get things done?

Before I met my husband, I was an avid reader. As a caregiver, I started reading more medical documents because I wanted to know more about my husband’s and brother’s illnesses. Now I try to read more and that’s a challenge because I have so many wonderful projects I’m working on at the moment.

While I was writing my book I was reading “The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity” by Julia Cameron. This book helped me so much because I felt as if she was talking to me. I have to be honest that during my writing process the question: “who would want to read my book?” was still in my mind. And this book gave me the power to keep going. There are many quotes in this book that made me have ‘Aha’ moments and she is one of my favorite authors.

Right now I am reading Lost Travel Found: Turning Pain Into Purpose by Ashley Jackson for the second time. Ashley and I have never met but she is my sister from another mister. She’s a fellow caregiver and together we are on a mission to reach caregivers from all over the world to let them know that they are not alone and that we appreciate them for what they are doing.

I used the pandemic to write my book. I meditated and asked the universe for guidance and writing my book during a lockdown was the best thing I could do. I became more aware of my writing skills. Not only that, but I used those lessons I learned earlier in my life about seeing possibilities and grabbing opportunities to write and publish my book. So yes, I saw the lockdown as a possibility, and I grabbed the opportunity of spending many hours at home to write my book.

Writing this book was a healing process, expanded my creativity and I grew personally. Instead of feeling isolated, I thought of ideas on how to socialize with others during a lockdown.

10) What are your thoughts about how the publishing industry as it is being represented today? Do you lean more towards traditional publishing or self-publishing as a preference? Does being a hybrid author interest you? 

While I was writing my book I did some research on traditional publishing and self-publishing and I am more interested in self-publishing. I learned a lot about which platforms to use, the design of the cover, and more. Actually, I learned so much about the whole process of writing and being in control of my book. I do have to admit that hiring a writing coach was a great investment because she guided me through the process.

I’ll never close the door when it comes to being a hybrid author.

11) I feel like writing is a remarkable tool to help people not only express themselves, but also to cope emotionally and mentally.  I know for me I write to be and feel more authentic. What unique quality is there about you, about your art, that you feel represents your authenticity?  How does writing help you to be more empowered in your purpose?

You have such great questions! One of my unique qualities is that I easily connect with others. I can start a conversation with anyone anywhere and this is one of the reasons why it’s so easy for me to connect with and guide fellow caregivers. Writing absolutely clears my mind, and it helps me create new ideas.  My purpose as a writer is to inspire and motivate people through my writing. It’s so heart-warming when I read the reviews, comments, and emails of people who say how much my book has helped them in their journey. I’m a teacher but also a student and I say this because I guide caregivers, but I also learn from them.

I am grateful for that!